hey, am i wrong when i choose my own way??
why they always disturb?
it's so many things that must be thinked, and that's it.
it's too much without your blaming.
hhaha, it's so funny, you know, when anybody just always criticize on people's life without look at their own selves.

why? maybe, i ever on that condition, but i always remember to make a point at my self in front of my mirror and say :" do i hurt somebody? you r full of mistakes too kik. think about it!!!"
yea like that.
i know how my friend feels, when she/he get into trouble but none gives her/him good solution. people even blame, mock, and they dont' wanna give their shoulder to catch her/him tears.
wow. i don't know if there are still anybody like that. how dare they are !

nowadays, i gotta some problems like any others. financial, family, friends, work, or college.. it's usual problem yea.
but, the real pain that i feel now is not about all the things above. not about money or family. it's about my contributions on dakwah.
dont ever think that i'm like people who get into dakwah, i'm not as good as they.
i have a work now. and i do work because i have to searching for some money for my self because i don't wanna ask them to my parents, not always i mean.
so, every saturday and sunday, i always work from 7 am to 3 pm.
at the same time, many stuff are going on that day and that time.
so, what am i suppose to do?
i just can ask some permissions not to come.
but, i think and i'm sure, somebody doesn't like what i do.
maybe they think that i'm lazy or i dont make a good priority,
they just dont try to understand.
and i really disappointed.
i feel that they always give criticize on anybody who get into trouble like me now and have to spend some times to work, without the look at their selves and ask "do i ever on that condition?"

maybe when it was meeting, and there were two or more people or even it was us late, they mocked and grumbled to us. but, when they gotta late, they won't be blamed. they ask for understanding because of their late. they dont want compromise with our late but they want it belongs them.
is that fair?

it was so selfish. i really really dont understand. what exactly what they want in this way?
to be popular? to get some appreciations?
what a fake!!

no. no. i dont want to say their bad, no. but it's hurting so much friends include me.
never look at your fault but you always show others fault.
how evil you are.

maybe it's people about.
but i dont wanna be like that.
i wanna be the first who catch my friends' tears when they r crying
i wanna hold my shoulders to them
i wanna be like aspirin to get them calm
i wanna be a good listener when they talk about their story
i wanna be good, really good friend,
not because i want to be well known or be good considered by them.
no . i do it with sincerely and heartfelt.
i do it because Alloh SUbhanahu wata'ala ask me to be a good person and to help other people
without something. just because of Alloh.

i know i'm bad still.
but, there's no fault when i'm trying to be better, right??

just let me do my way,
let me learn on my fault,
without your all blaming, it's enough.



Post a Comment